You're Almost Not As Awesome
by Neary K
Summary: Gilbert is the awesomest guy at Hetalia Academy for Arts. Now there's a new awesome, white-haired kid, and Gilbert can't help getting attached. Now he needs to get the boy and get AWAY from the stalkers. M for more-than-friendly contact, language, etc.
1. Because We All Need Introductions

Gunner Norsk looked at the large campus in amusement. No, large was an understatement- it was ENORMUS. The Icelandic boy hadn't ever seen a school so huge in his fifteen years of life before. Everything was neat and tidy. Students were walking around in a very docile manner. Tall, overgrown willow trees soared over the students, giving off a nice amount of shade. Everything was so peaceful and-

"Oi, Icu." Gunner jumped, turning to face his brother. He sighed.

"For the love of...of...of anything, Valdis! Don't do that!" his brother stared back at him with questioning eyes. The Norwegian pushed his navy-blue hat back into place, fixing his cross-barrette at the same time.

"Well, then just call me onii-chan." he stated bluntly. Gunner just glared at him, sighing a 'imiwakanai' after several seconds. "I actually needed to ask if you felt up to this." Valdis continued, staring fondly at his younger brother. "How do you see things?"

Gunner looked at the building again. It appeared as it did to his brother, big and neat. There was one big difference, one thing that most people would overlook because they couldn't see it.

"It looks fine." he responded softly, making sure other students didn't hear. "I can hear clearly enough, and I haven't felt anything since last month." he paused, looking at his brother to confirm what he had said. "I'm fine." Gunner spoke softly again, his smile matching his voice. "I'll be just fine."

"Well..." Valdis looked over at the building. "If you start losing it again..."

"Oh, stop panicking." he rolled his eyes at his brother's 'pointless' concerns. "I'll be fine." he hugged his older brother, and (after murmuring 'onii-chan') walked off to the middle of the courtyard in a different direction than Valdis. The Norwegian was meeting with his Danish hus- er, boyfriend, and Gunner didn't feel like dealing with it.

After having his ears blasted out by an unmet Hungarian, he walked a bit faster to see what the highest scream in the world was for.

* * *

From the exact opposite side of the Hetalia Academy for Arts campus, Gilbert walked alongside Antonio and Francis, rambling about how Prussia was the awesomest country in the world and how he was king of bleeping everything and other Gilbert stuff.

"So..." Francis nudged the Ger-PRUSSIAN beside him. "Did you know that we now have a new, _gorgeous_ Scandinavian? Oh, _Mon deiu_, he looks quite stunning, if I say so myself." He sighed a long French sigh, staring dreamily into the sky.

"Damn, Francis," Gilbert said, now smirking. "Didn't say he was a hot one. What's the kid look like?" Gilbert was famous (or infamous, depending on how you look at it) for being in the Bad Touch Trio, and after anyone's first week, they would want to go out with the self- proclaimed Prussian. For those who were looking for a different guy or girl, you could count on your local school Prussian to help out.

Antonio was better for long-term romance. (As for Francis, that, my dear readers, speaks for itself.)

"Hmm..." the French man looked at Gilbert intently. "If the boy's hair were a tad shorter, I'd say he'd look like you with purple eyes."

"Wait, what type of purple?" Antonio stared at the other two. "Is it Ivan-eye-purple, Kiku-kimono-purple, or Felix-nail-polish-purple?"

Gilbert and Francis stared at their Spanish friend, wondering what the difference was between the three. They were all purple...

"EEEEEEEEEEEEK!" The Bad Touch Trio covered their ears from the high, Hungarian scream and ran towards the center of the courtyard to see what happened. Elizebeta couldn't possibly be happy by the sound of it.

* * *

**A/N**

**I SWEAR I CAN EXPLAIN. REALLY. **

**Well, usually, I am a NorIce type of person. NordicCest, whale love, it really is a great pair. However, recently, this has been nagging at me since I fell asleep at a late hour and had a weird dream about this pair. Therefor, I will be one of or the first people to write something for these two. Yes, it _is_ short. I'm trying to make it a longer story with everything connecting together instead of random oneshots.**

**Anyway, the Prussian general Baron Von Stubben was kind of a pedo-bear, and Gilbo is obsessed with himself sometimes. And now, Iceland is a little boy WHO LOOKS LIKE HIM. How could he resist?**

**R&R and I will continue. Maybe...**


	2. But He's So Cute!

"OH MY GOD!" Elizebeta yelled again. Rodrich patted her shoulder, calming her down a bit. "No way..." she murmured, staring at the newest IQ test results. Elizebeta was always number one or two. It all depended on Tino, a good friend of hers and a good person for a friendly rivalry. "I'm...I'm three...Tino is two…but...then..."

"Yo!" Gil came up behind the Hungarian girl. "You look sad." he remarked with a smirk. His head became quickly acquainted with a heavy metal frying pan, then the ground. "Ow...that hurts..." He rubbed his head and looked back up at the Burnett.

"S-sorry..." she smiled with awkward sympathy. "Force of habit." She helped Gil get up off the ground and looked back to the three-sided corkboard. "I don't know what happened here..." she looked at the third name down again, being her own. "And number one is...!" She called Tino over to inspect the name as well.

"Weird...I don't remember a Gunner...oh!" he snapped his fingers with realization. "Norsk! That's Nor's little brother! Gunner Norsk!" Tino was smiling now, proud for his best friend's younger sibling.

"Gunner..." Gil looked at Francis. "Is that the new hot Nordic kid?" Before he could get an answer, a soft sigh was heard from behind them all.

"First...first...first. Whatever." Gil turned to face Valdis' younger brother, but stopped breathing for a moment.

Gilbert didn't understand what was so captivating about the new student. Maybe the boy's hair, white and soft like fresh Scandinavian snow. It could've been the outfit, though. A deep, dark crimson coat hung just down to his midthighs, a shade darker than the German's own eyes. What about the other's eyes? They were an intense violet color, like a Scandinavian dusk.

Whatever it was, it was beautiful.

And he was freaking the hell out.

Why though? Was it because he had never felt the way he did then before? Or was it that fluttering itself?

"So what? Too cool for school?" Gil asked him, still amazed at how adorable the boy looked.

"Keh." he turned away, walking towards where his new dorm would be. "What good is a high IQ if you don't put it to good use?" Gunner looked back, his dark violet eyes showcasing the same dullness in his brother's. "If a person has the world's highest intelligent quotient and no common sense, they're the real idiot." he took a piece of licorice out, waving it like a stick. "However, your IQ could be only ninety, but if you have the common sense example A lacks, you would be the smart one. It all depends on how you look at it, though." Gunner took a bite of his licorice fish, beginning to walk away. "And my English isn't quite perfect, being Icelandic at heart, so I not too sure how I got in first." he walked off, leaving the others to think of what he'd just said.

"I don't know about you guys, but..." Elizebeta held her pan even tighter. "That kid took my spot and I'm gonna beat the hell outta him." she hissed. Gil's eyes widened, and before she could go after him, he grabbed her arm.

"Don't hurt him!" he scolded, pulling her back. She turned to face him, seeing him stare at the new Nordic walk away. "He's so cute..." he added, his voice oddly soft.

"Sure, right, I'm sure he is." she pulled away, starting after the Icelander again. "You can hit on him later."

"No, Lizza," Gil grabbed her arm again, and to her surprise, there was a look of urgency in the albino's eyes. "You don't get what I'm getting at." he could only repeat what he had said moments earlier.

"He's so cute."

**A/N**

**Well, this was too short. Oh well. I got something done, ne?**

**I promise I'll get into the relationship and all that soon! Really!**

**For now, please enjoy the fact that I shall continue! -Runs for Smarties-**

**Oh, R&R again...maybe...please?**


	3. We Can't Understand

Gilbert put his head on the pillow. He was on Elizebeta's roommate's bed. She wasn't there, so she wouldn't mind.

"So..." Elizebeta looked at Gilbert. "What's with you? You looked real dazed when you were looking at him." she stared at him, waiting for an answer. Her eyes widened when he only looked away, his face tainted pink. "Gilly..." she was speaking softly to him, something the Hungarian rarely did. "It's completely safe here. Nobody else is here. Not Francis or Toni..." she rubbed his back calmingly. Elizebeta was almost like an older sister for Gilbert when Ludwig wasn't able to do anything. "I promise...you can say whatever you want." She petted his head affectionately.

"You know what? I can't understand!" he jolted up, looking right at her. "I hate algebra. It's stupid. It isn't awesome. It's the least awesome thing ever. If a cold shower can't do anything, say 'math' and it'll turn me off. You know that. Everyone does. Math is probably the worst thing ever invented. We didn't need math before, right? Of course I'm right, I'm Prussian. We as students don't need to know all that crap. If we need to know a math thing, we just go to Harvard and say, 'Use the pencil, you mathematician.' I have to be right because I'm Prussian and math isn't Prussian. It's French." Elizabeta stared at him, unsure of where all that came from. "I like math class."

"Woah, Gil! Snap out of it! It's okay! We'll get you to Tino, he takes psychology and he can help! Repeat after me-Prussians don't like math! Prussians don't like math! Prussians don't like math!" She shook him rapidly, fearing he had caught something or that the tree pollen was getting to him.

"E-liz-a-be-ta stop for a min-ute!" he pushed the brunette off of him. "I like the class, not the learny-stuff." she raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"But..." she sighed. "I don't know what you're trying to get at, to be honest." Gilbert stood up shakily, trying to stop his head from spinning.

"He's in my math class. Gunner. And every other class, too." he took in a shaky breath, staring at the floor for a moment. "Now, I figured math would be the best example. I never thought I would like anything relating to math. Ever. But..." he sat back on the bed. "I sorta like being there because he's there. I think he's a mathematician or something. He works so much faster than anyone in the whole class. Maybe even the school, I don't know. Mr. Lopez had trouble keeping him busy because he did the whole page in two minutes." Gilbert looked at Elizabeta, who was looking at him, confused. "It was so cute, though..." the tint of pink was back as he stared at the floor. "In cooking, he looked cute. In English, his poem was cute. For reading, he couldn't quite pronounce this one word, and he was sort of struggling with it, and that was cute, too." The Hungarian was starting to smile a fangirl smile. "Later, he was under that one willow tree, and he was tired I guess, and he fell asleep working. That was so cute too. Then we had history, and it was cute how he was rambling about how the Vikings really found North America." His voice was becoming increasingly softer, and he seemed more dazed with everything he said. "GAAAAAAH!"

"Eep!" Elizabeta jumped back. "Man...is he really that cute?"

"Since _when_ do I sacrifice my consciousness for somebody else?" he questioned her. He sighed again, looking away to hide the pink on his cheeks. It was so strange. The fluttering in his stomach, the dizziness and blushing- it wasn't like him. But Gunner was so cute. He was captivating. What Gilbert had left out was gym. He felt his face grow warmer thinking about Gunner changing shyly in the corner of the locker room. It had been _him_ blushing then, slipping off the red jacket and white button-down shirt more seductively than the Icelander knew. Gilbert had been watching the whole time, almost feeling like it was his own personal striptease. He shook his head and fell back onto the bed, starting to feel a bit guilty and a bit turned on by Gunner, who he barley knew.

Wow. At least that was normal Prussian behavior.

He decided he felt more turned on.

* * *

Gunner held his ankle tight, giving it as much pressure as it needed. He stared back up at the willow trees that seemed to be beckoning him to go back to his room. Had he noticed that the hill dropped suddenly to a rocky outcrop, he'd have been careful going down. The snow-haired boy looked down the forested beach area. Sure, it was dangerous, but there were places like that in Iceland, and he knew how to navigate around. He started down the beach, stopping by a cliff. Considering the height for a moment, he started up the steep climb to the top from a more slanted area.

Once he'd managed to get to the top, the view was beautiful. Gunner lay down on the ground, reaching up at the stars. He always did that, 'looked up at unreachable dreams. Dreams of eternal peace, a cooler breeze in summer, or a warmer sun in winter. He smiled softly, thinking everything over for a while. He'd most likely be there a while, only going back if it was near three in the morning.

Gunner feared that time more than anyone.

He wished his three AM dreams would all die, just go away forever. He only wanted to see water, fish swimming around. He wanted the blasts of color and glowing lights of fairies and sprites. He wanted to meet the flying mint bunny he had heard so much about from a British student. Gunner only wanted to hear what he needed to, whether he wanted to or not. He never wanted anything pulling at his sleeves again. Bliss...sunny, warm bliss... "How could I find it though?" he asked aloud to nobody at all. He reached out to the stars again, looking for a way to reach his dreams. No dream can stay gold forever.

Not even hallucinated ones.

* * *

**A/N**

**All right! Another chapter!**

**Sorry if anyone seems OOC, I'm not always good at keeping them in character. I've been trying though. ^_^**

**Not too sure what else to say here, so I'll leave you to review.**

**...please?**


	4. Run And Remember

Gunner shivered from a cold breeze, assuming it must be late. He didn't care too much, though. There was still a stunning view of the moon over the ocean, and he couldn't help but sit there and watch a little longer. The ocean lapping gently at the rocks, the reflection of the moon from the water... it was a calming place, creating a semi-conscious state of mind. He sighed contently, looking at the moon that was a bit off to the west, just a little, and the winds from the south, they warmed him up more than those from north. Another wave hit the cliff with slightly more force, the reflection of the-

Oh no.

The moon.

To the west.

It was dangerous.

Getting too close to three.

"No..." he breathed, "No, I..." he pushed himself up off the ground, running back to the campus. "If I had just checked the time..." Gunner ran faster, tripping over a root from a maple tree. He moaned softly, then, going to get back up...

HEY.

'No...' he thought again. 'Not yet, please, not yet.' He pushed himself up again, running even faster.

**HEY. GUNNER.**

The words came too choppily to have been human. The Icelandic boy ran still, not looking back to see what it was. 'Just a little more.' he thought. 'Soon I'll get to Onii-chan and he can help me.'

**GUNNER!~ WHY WONT YOU TURN AROUND? ARE YOU **_**SCARED**_**?**

The last part of the sentence didn't even make Gunner flinch, just run faster. He fell over, panting and trying to get his breath back. At least he was on the campus. Maybe his Onii-chan would be out looking for him. Valdis wouldn't be though. He was with Mathis, unable to leave even if he tried.

**HA! WELL, THAT WAS EASY! IS IT SO HARD TO RUN GUNNER? RUN FROM US? YOU'RE ONLY RUNNING FROM YOURSELF GUNNER. WE ARE YOU. WE MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE. YOU SEE THE WALLS AND YOU SEE SILLY LITTLE FISH. BUT WITHOUT US GUNNER, YOU'D BE NLTHING. YOU WOULDNT BE SPECIAL AT ALL. YOU WOULDNT HAVE STUDIED UNTIL WE CAME LATE AT NIGHT. AND THEN YOU WOULDNT BE NUMBER ONE. DON'T YOU GET IT? WE ARE PART OF YOU. AND IF WE ARE HURTING YOU, THAT MEANS YOURE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF GUNNER.**

Gunner held his head in his hands, trembling more than he liked to believe he was. He didn't fall. He was pushed. He didn't cut himself. They cut him. He couldn't believe himself when he said he didn't hurt himself. He did. But they did it. So...what was real...?

"P-please..." he managed to choke out. "P-please, go away...leave me alone...I want to be alone...I want to be alone...I-"

**OH YOU ARE ALONE. ALONE WITH US. BUT WE ARE YOU GUNNER. SO YOURE ALL ALONE GUNNER. NOBODY WILL HEAR YOU. NOBODY CAN. NOT EVEN YOUR BROTHER GUNNER.**

Gunner hiccupped, tears running down his face. He wasn't sad, not at all. He was scared. Gunner was scared stiff, out of his mind. He was scared of what was real, what wasn't real, what he thought was real, what he didn't think wasn't real. But he didn't know. He didn't know that the time of fear was over. 3:36, he'd cried for only three minutes, but it'd felt like years. He cried still, but stopped.

'This...this warmth...my dream...my wish...was it granted?' Gunner wondered for one more minute before blacking out into another world. He always did. 'Made a fuss if they got inside his, and was disturbed...disturbed...

* * *

"Hey...Gunner...up...-ou need t-...you feel be-...can't stay sleeping for-...ple-..." The words came at different volumes to Gunner, and for a moment he thought he was still hearing them, until... "...get wurst if yo-...-m awesome enou-..."

"Nngh..." he moaned somewhat, opening his eyes to meet crimson red ones.

"You awake?" Gilbert asked softly, stroking the younger boy's hair. "You were a wreck when I got to you...I couldn't sleep at all last night. I thought somebody attacked you and I wanted to know if you were okay." he smiled, more of a smirk, and added, "And I need to know who did this so I could personally beat the shit out of them. I am awesome enough to do that." Gunner just looked at him, absent-mindedly wondering how it got so bright.

"Wh...where..." He spoke softly, trying to figure out just where he had been taken.

"Gunner..." Gilbert nudged his shoulder softly trying to get him to sit up. "Oyaaah!" He fell on the ground, then pushed himself up, rubbing his head. "Shhhhit. That hurt..." The German's head was taking quite a bit of abuse that week. Well, always, considering his friend, Pan.

"Gilbert...?" Gunner helped him up. "S-sorry..." he looked away, blushing slightly. He knew the self-proclaimed Prussian, and had been observing him for a other albino in all his classes, what was with him? He didn't do any work, he was annoying, and yet Gunner's line of vision was always directed back to him. He was pretty hot like everyone said, but there was something more. He was drawn to him, staring at him as much as possible. His hair wasn't snowy white like his own. It was more silvery, fixed just how he wanted. Gunner reached up to feel his own hair, which was always frazzled and messy from relentless nightmares and simply having no time to fix it. His outfit looked like a blue military uniform, fitting his fighting spirit perfectly. Gunner couldn't fight, he just ran. Ran away like his life depended on it.

One day, it just might.

Gilbert's eyes amused Gunner most of all. Bright, glowing crimson eyes that batted back and forth, never seeing blurriness from unreal water. They were always shining like the sun, brighter than anything. Gunner's were a deep violet, flickering behind water nobody could see. They usually had a dim glow, only showing a sense of apathy. They would still show fear come three, because Gunner couldn't run.

He had been watching how Gilbert acted throughout the day. He stared at the chalk board in math, but he felt holes being drilled into the back of his head. He messed around a lot in cooking class, and Gunner was sure their teacher would flip. They didn't though. Gilbert had finished his cooking eventually, setting the pizza muffins out to cool. Gunner was sure he had some pizza sauce on his moth by the end, though. He was great in reading, getting through a page in the time it took him to read a paragraph. Gym was awkward though. Gunner had been watching the German change as long as he could, feeling his cheeks grow warm with every passing second. He really did have a great figure. His cheeks started burning even more when he turned to face Gunner. He'd turned and changed, feeling his face burn like the holes in the back of his head.

English made Gunner think. Gilbert always acted so self-centered it made one of the students (a Swiss one) feel sorry for him. Gunner knew that wasn't the case though...

* * *

_"Gilbert, please read the poem you picked from the book."_

_"Ah, really? Whatever... Okay. I shall obey your orders, teach!"_

_"Gilbert." _

_'I wonder what...'_

_"Okay, okay!_

_'Nature's first green is gold,  
Her hardest hue to hold.  
Her early leaf's a flower;  
But only so an hour.  
Then leaf subsides to leaf.  
So Eden sank to grief,  
So dawn goes down to day.  
Nothing gold can stay.'_

_It had gold, so I picked it. Kesesesesese..."_

_

* * *

_

That wasn't it though. Why had Gilbert been looking at the floor after that? And in his eyes...close to tears? Why was that?

"W-well..." Gunner snapped himself back to reality, however heal he could call it. "I should be leaving. Th..." He looked away, then back up. "_Danke."_ The Icelander smiled softly, getting up. He was almost out before...

"Hey wait!" Gilbert ran over to him. "Are you all right? Who did that?" Gunner saw the concern in his eyes, but turned away nonetheless.

"I did. An unreal side of me, part that wasn't conscious or real."

At that he walked away, leaving Gilbert with one real goal-protect Gunner.

* * *

**A/N**

**Oooooh...seriousness...he'll help Ice, don't worry!**

**If I let him past Norway.**

**...I WILL EVENTUALLY! REALLY!**

**Again, not much else to tell you, so please review or I'll send Danmark and his ax after you!**

**...not really, but I do like reviews. They make me smile.**


	5. Memories and Pencils

Gilbert didn't get too much sleep that night. Who was Gunner on the inside? An unconscious side of him? What was it all? What did it mean? It was him, but it was unreal? He thought about what he'd said all that day. He goofed off and messed around like he always did. However, Gilbert would check in with Gunner after every class.

"Yo, Gunner!" he called over. The Icelander looked over at him, his eyes showing that same apathetic expression as in his brothers.

"Honestly," he said to himself, "there are two things that run in my family. Apathy and falling in love with idiots." Gunner sighed, standing in place. He didn't deny the fact he had fallen for the German instantly. He knew that by how he watched him in the locker room, and how he tried looking a bit more seductive. It must have been working, because he saw Gilbert staring at...places.

Maybe he should be a bit more careful.

"You feeling all right?" Gunner blinked, wondering why he seemed so worried.

"Yeah..." he said cautiously, maybe because of his previous thoughts. "I'm okay. Why?"

"Well, I..." why was he so worried? He thought it was because he was in a similar situation. He hadn't been to happy when his brother got a concussion and lost his memory. It was his fault for letting Ludwig, really Haydn, go off and play with that girl all alone. His parents had told the girl that Haydn had died so they could move. It would have been too painful saying, 'Your friend is fine. He just has no clue who you are and probably won't ever know you the same way again.' Gilbert had taking up cutting, cliché but effective enough for him. That was his self-infliction. He didn't even notice it half the time. He'd cry with sorrow for that little girl and remorse for his brother. The two wouldn't see each other again. Ever.

A specific student looked like her though...

"I was just worried is all." he forced a smile, trying to seem crazy as usual. "Anyway, I need to go meet with the rest of the Bad Touch, so I'll see ya later!" he walked off, and when nobody else could see, he wiped away the tears in his eyes. Gilbert bolted off soon after.

* * *

"Hey, Ice-kun!" Tino of all people ran over to Gunner. "Do you have the math assignment written down? I can't remember if it was page 81 or 83, so..." he smiled awkwardly.

"82, actually. And you're stepping on the pencil."

"Huh?" Tino looked down. There was no pencil. If a pencil was on the ground ever, somebody would take it and use it until the owner came for it. There weren't pencils on the ground for long, and not one at all at that moment.

"Yeah, see?" he pointed at the Finn's shoe. "It's green."

"But...there isn't any pencil..." he moved his foot to check. "See?"

"Yes, and now you're on the blue one."

"Huh? !" he jumped again. Still no pencils. "Oooh...I get it. You're just making sure I got enough sleep!" he patted the younger student.

"No."

"What do you..."

"No."

"Who are you talking to?"

"You!"

"Why are you saying no?"

"Because you're on the orange one."

"But I don't see a pencil."

"Not 'a'. There are lots."

"Where?"

"In a candy-cane shape."

"There are no pencils!"

"The purple one is on the blue one."

"What does that have to-"

"You're one the red one."

"There are no pencils though!"

"But you're stepping on them."

"No I'm not!"

"There's a cupcake on your head."

"That doesn't have to do with-"

"I want it."

"There isn't a cupcake!"

* * *

"Su-San..."

"Mmph?"

"Do I have a cupcake on my head?"

"..."

"What?"

"I th'nk ya need s'me m're sl'p."

"But-!"

There were cupcakes at lunch the next day.

Tino didn't want anything to do with them.

* * *

**A/N**

**Well, while things may still be tense, we also have a confused Finland. What, you didn't expect _everything _to be scary did you?**

**Also, yes, that was a reference to Chibitalia.**

**The rating went up for what will be in chapter 7. ****It's the first time I've tried typing something like it.**

**There was also a song reference in some previous parts. Kudos to whoever can find it.**

**R&R?**


	6. I'll Admit I Love An Idiot

He took in a quivering breath. "I'm in love with your brother!" he blurted it all out at once, holding the back of his head protectively. He stood for a moment, looking up only when he noted he was still standing to begin with.

"Is that so?" Valdis looked over at him with a strange amount of amusement. Gilbert nodded cautiously. "Then go yell it at him."

"S-seriously?" he lowered his hands down from his head, looking at the Norwegian. "So you don't want to beat me over the head..."

"Not really. Besides, he was moaning a lot in his sleep last night. I thought it was a nightmare until I looked at his face. He was blushing, and I was pretty freaked. Then he moaned your name, and I figured he wouldn't want you knowing he had wet dreams about you, so I had stayed quiet." Gilbert looked at him in shock yet lust, thinking of all the things he could make Gunner do if he wanted.

"So I can fuck him?" he asked a bit too eagerly.

"If he wants you too. But if I find out you rape him, I'll cut off your penis, chop it up into little pieces and cook it up in a nice little soup for you to eat."

It was soup day in the cafeteria.

Gilbert had no apatite.

* * *

From the moment Gilbert got Valdis' approval to be with his little brother, he'd been going after him ever since. He got slapped, but he also got hugged. He got to know him more, watching out for hallucinations that posed a threat. Gunner had pretty much moved into Gilbert's room, sleeping in the same bed but never doing much. All the German could do at that point was cuddle him, telling him everything would be okay when he woke up from a hallucinated dream. Gilbert wanted more than just hugs, and I'm sure anyone could guess what he did want.

And so, with all his will, Gilbert wrote a note with proper English.

That was all of one word.

Then he threw it out. Hell if Gunner cared, he had said himself he wasn't good at English.

* * *

"And I thought my English was bad..." he murmured, reading the note over another time.

_Ice._

_U need 2 get 2 most tall willow tree by 12 am 2nite. C u there._

_-Gil_

He sighed, smiling a little at the horribly written note. He was sure that would have to make their English teacher cry. It really would. Why twelve? Elizabeta had been ranting about midnight being romantic, but he had ignored it at the time. Was she trying to foreshadow something? He shook his head, trying not to blush so much. When he looked up, he'd gotten to the tree, and to Gilbert, which for some _completely _unknown reason, made him blush all over again.

"S-so, um..." Gunner shifted in place feeling a bit uneasy. The way he was being stared at made him feel a bit fluttery. It was almost like Gilbert was seeing right into his mind. "W-what did you need?"

"Just you." he replied, putting an arm around the Icelandic boy's waist. He pulled him closer, causing Gunner to blush. He kept his arms between their bodies, but from the looks of it, he wasn't bothered by it. He was just being shy. And cute. Oh, god, why was he so cute?

"O-okay." Gunner managed to murmur that, holding tighter to the other's shirt. The silver-haired of the two put his free hand on his shoulder, forcing Gunner into leaning on him. He blushed more, feeling Gilbert's hand gently rub his shoulder. His hand moved to his neck, making him shiver and blush harder after he'd comprehended he just moaned softly at the touch.

"You aren't used to this, are you, Gunner?" Gilbert said, moving his hand into the neck of Gunner's shirt. He whimpered, holding on tighter and shaking his head. He shut his eyes, and then the German couldn't understand how he was stopping himself from getting on top of the Scandinavian. "I didn't think so." Gilbert pulled the back of the other's hair gently, making Gunner face him. Good Lord, he was cute. He was blushing quite a bit. Gilbert started rubbing his side with the hand that was on his waist, watching the boy shiver and moan at the touch. Gunner's stomach felt like he'd swallowed ten million butterflies from the flutteriness he felt. He gripped Gilbert's shirt even tighter, moaning again, then blushing. He couldn't stop his shivering. It felt so good. To his dismay, he noticed his breathing was shaky, but at least he knew why.

"Nah...G-Gil..." he tried finishing his thought. He really did. But from how he was being caressed, he couldn't keep his head strait. He knew several things only. One, Gilbert was the only person he would ever be able to love the way he did. And two, he loved how Gilbert was caressing him. He kept shivering, moaning softly, blushing, and that fluttery feeling wouldn't stop. He didn't care. It was Gilbert. Gunner loved him and how he made him feel.

Especially then.

"Why do you always gotta be so fucking cute all the time?" Gilbert asked, smirking. "Not that I would ever mind." he whispered into Gunner's ear, making him shiver again. He stopped moving his hands for a moment. "And you know what?" Gunner looked at him, almost appearing to be silently begging for him to keep going. This was more important, though. They needed to know this.

"I love you, Gunner."

Gunner stared at Gilbert wide-eyed for a minute. He smiled. It wasn't his soft smile. He looked liked he'd just got something more important than anything.

"I love you too, Gilbert!"

Gunner clung to Gilbert's neck for the next few minutes, the two of them repeating what they just said.

Gilbert's solitude.

Gunner's nightmares.

They both faded, nothing more than distant memories.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hahahahahahahahahahaha!**

**I DID IT! **

**Yes, I did need to make Prussia half-molest Gunner.**

**On to 7! LEMON!**


	7. You Can Have Me

Gilbert was cuddling Gunner, who was nuzzling his neck. Gilbert shivered a bit. (He wasn't acting like an uke, no! His neck was just a sensitive area!)

"So," He pulled Gunner up to face him. "Do you know what I think we should do now?" He shook his head softly, but from the look in his eyes and what Gilbert was doing, he was sure he knew. "Of course you do." he breathed in Gunner's ear, making him shiver slightly. "I know you've seen what your brother does with Mathias, or at least heard." He was unbuttoning the boy's shirt by then, sitting on top of him so he couldn't squirm too much.

"Nnn..." Gunner whimpered, blushing. He hadn't ever been confident in his physicyll appearance, and now he had Gilbert taking off his shirt. He whinned again when the shirt was off, shivering. He was caressing him like he did earlier, and the same sensation came rushing bact to him. He moaned a bit louder than he had earlier, whether because he knew Gilbert loved him or because he was rubbing both his sides now. The German continued on to Gunner's pants, and Gunner whimpered louder at that. "G-Gilbert...I..." he stopped, looking at Gunner.

"Should I stop?" he asked softly. He looked hurt, crimson eyes losing some of their shine.

"N-no, but..." Gunner looked away, blushing more. "Y-you need to t-take your cloths o-off too..." Gilbert stared at him, compleatly dumbstruck.

"Oh." he smiled awkwardly and laughed nervously. "Y-you were just so adorable I forgot that part..." he paused, then smirking, he added, "I guess you wanted to see me then, ne?" Gunner looked up, and, still blushing, couldn't take his eyes off Gilbert no matter how hard he tried. He went back to Gunner's pants after getting his own clothes off. The Icelander was blushing madly by then, looking him over. He went back to caressing him, and was pleased to see he still seemed to like the feel. He was shivering and moaning again. Gilbert savored the last few minutes of the boy's virginity. No matter what, Gunner would still always be so cute.

"Nngh?" He looked up at the older teen, blinking blankly. Three of his fingers were put into the younger one's mouth, and he wasn't too happy.

"I need you to be ready for my awesomeness, right?" he smirked. Gunner took his fingers out. He leaned over to lick what would be doing most of the work insted, moaning softly. Gilbert sighed, starting to breath hevily. "G-Gunner...fuck yeah..." he half-moaned, caressing Gunner at the same time. He shivered, but still went about what he was doing, thinking that he tasted good. He pulled away eventually, then (blushing as always) spread his legs apart.

"Okay. You have me."

* * *

Gunner learned a few things that night.

One, Gilbert was a virgin too, oddly enough.

Two, no matter how good it feels, he would still be sore.

Three, he really would only ever love Gilbert.

Four, his name was to be Gunner Bieldschmitt one day.

And five...

He was so going to do that again.

* * *

**A/N**

**This was seriously as good as I could write it. Please don't eat me.**

**Well, I'd have written more, but it was really late. And again, I haven't this before, so i thought I'd leave i tat that. This was also a bit short, and it bumped the rating to M, but was it yummy?**

**Please...review...CAN HAS REVIEW!**

**And There's a present at the bottom of the page!**

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**You just lost the game if you scrolled down this far.**

**Wasn't this such a waste of time?**


	8. Tuna's Are Annoying Little Things

"Would you just shut up?" BUT IIIIIIIICUUUUUUUUU! An awkward voice whined, seeming to be underwater. YOU LUUUUUUFS HIM! WHY CANTCHA HOOK THAT BRUNETTE UP?

"Because it's MY sex-life." Gunner stated calmly. "I'm not going to have her staring at us the whole time."

IIIIIIIICCCCEEEEEEUUUUUUUUU!

"Why do even- never mind." He looked away from his awkward friend. The albino walked over to the door to his room. Looking back at Gilbert, he smiled softly, blushing subtly. "Need to get him food too...do that algebra paper..." IIIIIICUUU! HEY! AREN'T THEY COOKING FISH? UUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHH!

"Shut up!" He snapped at his invisibly friend. "No, they are not making fish for breakfast. If they were, I'd have given them you to cook." BUT IM YOUR TUNA! Tuna yelled awkwardly. UR MAH FREEEEND!~

"Yeah, whatever. I just need to get some waffles for us then we can go." OOOOOH! I GET WAFFLES? "No, Gilbert does." Gunner sighed. He walked off to his dorm, not noticing a disturbed Finn asking his husband to have fish for dinner. SEE THAT BLONDIE KID? AND THE INSANLY TALL ONE? THEY GOING TO EAT MEEEEEEEEEE!

"Just calm down. They don't even know your here. Like that cupcake." He walked into his room, eating and talking to his boyfriend. Gunner was good at keeping things from people, and not oneperson had become suspicious of the Icelander. Though Gilbert almost never shut up, he was carefull not to mention his boyfriend too often for fear of being caught. They didn't care though. They had eachother and that was all that mattered.

* * *

"So," the blond said to his brunette friend. "Do you think he wouldn't tell us about the Scandinavian?"

"That'd be a real bummer..." the other replied. "I mean, we're the Bad Touch Trio. Gil would want to tell us, right?"

"I'm not so sure." Francis answered thoughtfully. "I mean, it _is_ his life. Remember when we asked who Hadyn was?" Antonio nodded softly. "Then again, you told us all about Lovino."

"Maybe because we all saw Lovi and I coming." the Spaniard looked up at the sky. "We all did, you can't deny that, but Gilbert and Gunner...well it's just so unexpected." Francis stared at him.

"Are you insinuating they would be a _bad_ couple? I thought-"

"No no, I'm not saying that!" Antonio threw his hands up in surrender. "It's just that few people considered the possibility!"

"Mmm...and the boy's brother. Well, if he can hit as hard as Elizabetha, Gil won't have his hands on Gunner anytime soon." the Frenchman looked at the sky as well. "We need sombody to give us some clarification..."

"GOT IT!" Antonio yelled, compleatly unnanounced. "Francis, we could get Rodrich to help! We see Gunner's reaction because Roddy is Gil's ex, so if Gunner knows that, he'd be jelous!"

"Hmmm...very good, but..." he sighed. "We have no clue how the two act around eachother normally."

"Gilbert is still very loud and annoying. However, he tends to watch what he says because of Gunnar's being there. Gunnar is much quieter and doesn't fuss as much. He does require attention if it is only he and Gilbert. Gilbert, in turn, is extremely attentive to Gunnar when the two are alone. Jelousy should be easy to notice. I know for a fact Gunnar will be upset with Rodrich's being there."

"Really?" Antonio and Francis look to see who had given so much information, but were met with one single tree. "Well Francis?" he helped the blond up. "Let's start this plan!" The two ran off to find Rodrich, forgetting that if the two were alone with Gilbert paying all his attention to Gunner, they were probably a couple

"...I'll eat you. I swear I am going to eat you." BUT...THOUGHT...GOOD... "Well, you thought wrong!" Gilbert listened to his boyfriend fight through the door. He paniced slightly, not reconizing the other voice. "Would you come down from the ceiling?" NOOOOOOOOO! YOU...FOR...AND...

"Just get down here! How much did you say?" Gilbert worried. He could only hear parts of the other voice. PENCILS...THE BLONDIE... "They don't have anything to do with this." WELL...ANTON...CIS...

"Hey Gunner!" Gilbert walked in, hiding his panic as best he could. "Someone here?"

"Hm?" he looked up from his algebra paper, eating licorice. "No. What made you think that?"

"I thought I heard you talking..."

"Nope." Gunner went back to his paper, figuring what Gilbert didn't know about him couldn't hurt him.

And quite litterally, it hurt Gunner more.

Besides his more talkative friend.

* * *

HEY! HEEEEEEEY! BLONDIE!

"Huh? W-who's there?"

GOTTA CUPCAKE?

"No!"

I WANNA CUPPYCAKE!

"I don't have one!"

Tino woke up in a cold sweat. Dear, God, he was sticking to Salmiakki.

* * *

**A/N**

**O.o**

**Dear Finnish candy this was short.**

**Well, I did something, so hopefully I'll continue. **

**For the impossible parts (Prussia hearing Ice's hallucinated tuna) I know it's out there, but it was more fun to write it like that. And hopefully more fun to read it. ^_^**

**Anyway...I like reviews...-holds out cookies-**


	9. Nations?

Gunner walked away from his last class and into the forest, humming. He got a few stares from others wondering what he was doing with his laptop. They didn't really need to know, though. They wouldn't understand. _He _didn't understand. Everyone was from a different place in the world. It made no sense. The Icelander was related by blood to his Norwegian brother. He was fully Norwegian, though. Gunner was fully Icelandic. He didn't ever understand anything. He was only six-teen. Of course, someone his age shouldn't even be _in_ the higher grades. He was, however, and showed up most of the older students. He wasn't thinking of that now, though. The teen was typing up everyone's names on a Word document. It looked somewhat like this;

Feliciano-

Ludwig-

Kiku-

Alfred-

Arthur-

And etcetera, etcetera, until everyone's names were on that list. He included himself, and after the hyphen, put 'Iceland'. He put everyone's home nation after the hyphens. _Alfred is sick; America has bad economony _he typed, not noticing the spelling error on 'economy'. Below his own name and nation, he typed,_ Got flu on April 14; volcano erupted in Iceland. _He continued using this strategy to relate everyone's nation back to things that happened to them.

"How did you catch that connection?" Gunner asked. **Oh, you know. It just seemed a tad too odd to be coincidental. Am I right? **"Yes, I'd say you are," he answered, "but it sounds a little silly. People personifying countries? It sounds like something out of an anime, or one of Elizabeta's doujinni things, or whatever you call it." He kept typing, talking to his invisible friend.

"OI! ICUGA!"

"Huh? !" he got hugged from behind, quickly saving and closing the document. "Um…hi G-Gilbert…" he pulled himself closer to the German, smiling. _Gilbert-Germany. Became quite dependent of his brother on the anniversary of the fall of Prussia. _He thought of his typing, but wasn't able to focus with Gilbert nuzzling his neck.

"C'mon, we're going to get some wurst!" he yelled, dragging Gunner about seven feet before noticing the other's computer. "What's this thing doing out here?"

"U-um…I was researching for…uh…e-extra credit. In English. Because I not doing welly." He rubbed the back of his neck, realizing his Icelandic grammar was trying to take hold again.

"Oh…all right!" Gilbert grabbed the computer, handing it to him. "Sure you're all right?"

"Yes." Gunner answered in on word, kissing him softly.

"Let's go then!" they waked off, Gilbert' arm around a smiling Gunner, neither knowing why there was such a noticeable connection between students and their respective countries.

* * *

"…you wan help with _what?_" Rodrich asked the two. "I don't quite understand your reasoning."

"We wanted to find out if Gilbo and Ice were a couple!" Antonio answered in his usual playful tone of voice. "We figured you could help by talking to Gilbo, and if Gunner got jealous, we'd know they were together!"

"Um…" the Austrian stared at two-thirds of the Bad Touch Trio, cocking an eyebrow. "If they're alone together and Gilbert is paying attention only to Gunner, wouldn't you infer that must mean something?" Francis and Antonio stared at each other as if they had just found a cure to cancer that also prevented AIDS, nicotine addictions, and hic-ups.

"THAT'S IT!" they yelled as excitedly as when Lucy decided Schroeder played 'Jingle Bells' correctly. "Thanks!" the two ran off, leaving Rodrich to his piano.

"Honestly…" he said to himself. "Those two are running around like chickens without heads." He decided that they must have had a dozen cups of coffee while Gilbert walked with Gunner to the cafeteria, opposite the direction Antonio and Francis had run.

* * *

"NO!"

"B-b't T'no…"

"I DON'T WANT CUPCAKES!"

"T'no, wh'ts wr'ng w'th ya?"

"I-I just want Salmiakki…"

"T'no…"

"Cupcakes give me nightmares…"

''ll right."

Tino still wanted nothing to do with cupcakes.

* * *

**A/N**

**.si/audiox/?q=node/57659 **

**That's a link to a fan-made song for Iceland, which is what he was humming.**

**I'm really sorry! I've been on writer's block for so long on this! I'll try to continue to the best of my abilities! I'm open to ideas, because I'm mot sure where to go from here...**

**Anyway...please review! I like reviews! They're my friends!**


	10. Now You Tell Me

Francis and Antonio were about to put their plan into action when they made a startling discovery.  
A shoot-out.  
Gilbert, along with a few others, was on stand-by for when someone got hurt. This wasn't an 'if' situation. This was definately a 'when' moment. The two could only see Lovino and Vash with their firearms pointed at three other men from their stand-point. Paniced, Antonio ran behind Lovino, and Francis ran twoards Gilbert, taking his hand.  
"Gilbert, _Mon Cher_, what's happening?" Gilbert shook his head, nails digging into the Frenchmen's palm.  
"Gunner...he's..." Francis looked up, then took a step back.  
Gunner was there.  
He had his own gun aimed right at the perpetrators, glaring with a strange sence of appethy.  
"So..." he said with no hint of emotion. "Exactly what made you think it would be perfectly fine to wander over here?"  
"Bastards!" Lovino yelled, getting about two feet closer. "If you bastards don't leave here soon I'll shoot your brains out!"  
On that note, there was about twenty seconds of gunfire. There wasn't any way to tell if the three men were winning or the students, who were surprisingly good shooters. Seven seconds later, Gunner did exactly what Gilbert hoped he wouldn't. Dropping his gun, the Icelandic boy pulled out something else...

* * *

It was blurry.  
That's all Gunner knew as he looked at the ceiling of the strange room. There was a strange smell and a faint _blip, blip, blip_ sound. Sitting up, he heard two sets of angered voices.  
**YOU IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO STUPID? DROPPING A GUN FOR A WIRE? REALLY? IS THAT A GOOD IDEA? SURE, IT CAN CUT THOUGH SKIN, BUT REALLY?**  
"I...think I...killed...one...stupid...voice..."  
The next voices he centered his attention to were outside the door, and three of the four were farmiliar...  
"Sir, I'm sorry, but you must wait until the anasthesia wears off."  
"How will you know it did unless YOU LET US IN!"  
"Mathias, there are other people here too."  
"How 'bout if he's up, were in."  
The arguing went on for a decent amount of time before Gunner came out from his strange-smelling room, speaking at his usual volume, only without the appethetic tone.  
"I'm concious, y'know."  
"Gunner!" The Icelander stumbled back, noting he couldn't hold up Gilbert and Valdis at the same time.  
"Hey kiddo!" Mathias patted Gunner, smiling wider then ever. "Feeling better?"  
"Ngh...I will if I'm aloud to stand up." he responded, looking at the two closest to him.  
"Ehe...s-sorry Icuga..."  
"Sorry _brofir_..." they both smiled awkwardly, leading Gunner to think something bad happened. _Never mind that,_ he thought. _What about the others?_  
The three told Gunner whatever he hadn't remembered of the shoot-out. He had pulled out his wire and manadged to nearly decapitate someone. (Gunner smiled at this, he hadn't done _that_ before.) Although Vash had shot another one, Lovino missed the third, leaving him to shoot at Gunner. Only one bullet made it through to him, hitting just passed his stomach. He was lucky, as that could and would/ have been a vital shot. At that point, Gunner grabbed his gun again, shooting madly, and the offenders left. Valdis told Gunner that was when he started losing conciousness, and when he passed out, Gilbert had called for an ambulance while Mathias filed a poliece report.  
"When we got the ambulance and they took you away, we drove after them to try and catch up." Gilbert said, smiling half-heartedly. "We've benn waiting for at least five hours."  
"Really?" Gunner blinked with a blank stare, then glared at the three. "You'd better get something to eat after this." Valdis smiled. _That's my little bro. Not letting us off easy, huh?_  
"Gunner?" a nurse poked her head in through the door. "We need to see you, please."  
"_Hvath sem er_." he replied appatheticly, getting up to leave. "Wait for me?" he asked Mathias, Valdis, and Gilbert. The three nodded, Valdis hugging him and Gilbert pecking his cheeck. Gunner smiled. He didn't usually like attention, but with the three closest to his heart (Yes, even Mathias) it wasn't so bad.

The testing had taken much longer then Mathias, Valdis and Gilbert had expected. Mathias was texting Tino and Berwald, Valdis was playing with the ribbon on his hat, and Gilbert was silently blaming himself for letting Gunner in harm's way. Looking at Valdis, he probably was too.  
And then came Gunner.  
He walked over to the three, who immediately asked what happened. Gunner looked at a corner for some reason, then to Valdis, who nodded softly. The nurse spoke beifly with the Norwegian, and as she walked away, he let a trembling breath out.  
"They gave him a test...for Schizophrenia...and..." his voice trailed off, leaving Gilbert and Mathias shocked.  
"Why didn't..." Gilbert started, but didn't have the heart to finish. Gunner shrugged, looking right at him.  
"You never asked." Gunner answered, smiling at him. The German's eyes grew wider. Damn, he should have asked. "Honestly, I didn't find it to be so important, so I said nothing." He shrugged again, then hugged Gilbert. "It's fine."

* * *

**A/N**

**Grrrrrrr!  
Ok ok, it's been way too long since i updated this thingy...I'm sorry...I've had this writer's block that i can't seem to get out of...**

**Anyway...I'm open to any suggestions. ^_^ **

**...pwease? .O.o.**


	11. What Did You Expect?

"S-so..." Gilbert watched Gunner eat his licorice. "You're schizophrenic...?"

"Yes. What? Were you expecting me to tell you?"

"Well..." he watched the other a while longer, wondering if he should have. It's not something easy to say. What _would_ he have said? _And by the way, I'm schizophrenic. No biggie! Yeah, sure,_ Gilbert thought to himself. _And I'm bi-polar! Also no problem! Geeze, what was I thinking?_ "Actually..."

"I thought I'd made it clear enough," the Icelandic boy said, staring with that same apathetic in his eyes. "You didn't notice anything?"

"Not really..."

"Good Lord." Gunner sighed, beginning to pace around the room. "How should I go about this...no..." He murmured something else to himself, then looked intently at Gilbert, who was starting to worry.

"What?" he asked, staring intently at the other.

"What is this?"

"What?"

Gunner gently put his hand on the wall, staring at it as if he'd never before seen a wall. "What is this?"

"Um..." Gilbert looked questioningly at his boyfriend, then the wall.

"It's a wall. The thing that divides roo-"

"No it's not." Gunner said, his eyes still glowing softly. "This is water. You can't see the water. I can. Why is it that you can't see it? Do you know?" Gilbert shook his head softly, hoping he didn't.

"I'm seeing it," he answered, confirming Gilbert's suspicions. "It isn't water though, is it?" he asked softly.

"No...no it's just a wall." Gilbert answered, taking Gunner's hand in his own. He sighed shakily, silently wishing he could help Gunner.

"What's that?" Gunner asked again, pointing at the ceiling. "And it's not a ceiling."

"I..." Gilbert's mind raced, hoping he could remember something, _anything_ that could help. "...think it's...a..." A what? _He's Icelandic; close to Norwegian, what do _they_ believe in? _"...troll...type thing...?" Wow. Flying trolls.

"No, he's over here actually." Gunner answered to the German's surprise. "That's a fish. What type of fish?"

"I don't know. I'm not good with fish. Germany is landlocked, y'know."

Gunner smiled. Finally, someone could at least _try_ understanding him.

"You _still_ have that plan in mind? After everything that happened?

Goodness gracious, can't I just play my piano?"

"C'mon, Roddy!" Antonio urged, for he and Francis were still determined. "It'll be real easy!"

"Non non," Francis nudged the Spaniard. "I think he needs the magic charm!~"

"Magic charm?" Rodrich asked, glaring at the two. "Just what do you think you're-"

"Fusososososo!"

"..."

"It's a magic charm that cheers people up! Fusososososo! Fusososososo! Fusososososo! Fusososososo! Fusososososo! Fusososososo!"

"Alright, alright!" the Austrian sighed, resting his head on his hands. "What do you want me to do?

**A/N**

**Fusososososo! Fusososososo!**

**Well, I've **_**still**_** had writers block for the most part, but when something comes to mind, I type it! You know when you think to yourself, 'I can totally see this happening!' and then you go and make a story about it? That's me.**

**Anyone want a weird Japanese daydream about a crazy Swiss? Review please!**


	12. One Plan Leading To Another

"All right, all right," Rodrich sighed, shaking his head. "So what do I do?"

"All you gotta do is start talking to Gilbert!" Antonio explained, smiling and dragging him towards Gilbert. "First, make sure you have a credible reason to talk to him. Before you do, check and see if Gunner is nearby. Look back every few minutes and note what Gunner looks like." Antonio pushed the Austrian forward, with Francis close behind. "Then come get us!"

"But what do I-"

"Good luck!"

"Wait!" Rodrich watched the two dart off and jump into a bush. Right next to Elizabeta.

"Er...hey, Gil..."

"Huh?" the German turned to face his ex. Had Gunner not turned up, he would have not known how to react. He had the Icelander, so he was fine, right?

"Although I really don't think I need to speak to _you_," Rodrich said in disinterest, trying to keep his cool, "I _do_ need to know how many pages are supposed to be in our research project for English."

"Eh...let's see...that one I'm not done yet...did I start it?..."

"Gilbert." Gilbert only rolled his eyes. Rodrich (while Gilbert wasn't looking) glanced over his shoulder, noting Gunner's presence. The Icelander watched the two converse. His eyes, that usually glowed dully, seemed...darker? Harsher than usual, more fiery.

Then shock.

"Yeah, like, twenty pages. Geeze, I only got eight...ah, whatever! I'll be cool, right?" Gilbert asked, putting his arm on Rodrich's shoulder. Looking back again, the other albino's expression went from dark to hurt.

"Right, whatever." Rodrich pushed the other's arm off, feeling bad for Gilbert's love, who had left with that hurt look about him. The Austrian left, walking towards the shrubbery. Coming from it was...music?

"Oh, Veleri, my pretty one, pray tell me where's your home~?"

"My home, it is in Switzerland, 'tis made of wood and stone~!

It's filled with oh so many beautiful lakes and ponds~!

Yo~!

Ho~!

Ho, tra la la~! Yo ho ho~! Tra la l-"

"WHAT IN BEEHTOVEN'S NAME IS _THAT_? !"

"Huh?" Elizabeta looked up from the video, which Antonio and Francis were watching intently. "It's a video."

"Of _what_, may I ask?"

"Oh, nothing," she said, looking back at the video. "Just..."

"Is that..._Vash?_"

"Awesome, isn't it?"

* * *

Gunner sighed into his pillow, continuing to text anyone who would respond. What in the world was Gilbert, _his _boyfriend, doing with that pansy Austrian? The term 'ex' means previous! No more! Late!

Well, not late as in _dead_, but...

Well, not _yet_, but...

Gunner grabbed his cell-phone off the table, looking through hid contacts for someone to help.

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

"Su-San!" Tino yelled out towards the Swede, "Phone for you!"

"Mph." Berwald walked over to his wife, taking his cell-phone back. "H'llo?"

"Sve? Do you have a minute?"

"Wha'samatter?"

"Do you have a stun-gun?"

"N-no...G'nner, wh't w'ld ya need w'th th't?"

"How about sleeping pills? Or posion? Are you _sure_ you have no tazers?"

"Wh'tre ya go'ng on 'bout?" the Swede asked, trying to listen closer to see if he was hearing wrong.

"What can cut thick wires? You work at IKEA, don't you have hedge clippers?"

"H'dge cl'ppers ar'nt gonna w'rk. Too th'ck." Berwald answered, forgetting the strangeness of the other's questions. "'f ya w'nt to cut s'me w'res, ya need w're c'tters. I h've s'me, 'f ya w'nt to c'me 'nd get th'm."

"Great!" Gunner exclaimed with an odd amount of excitment. "Thank you."

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Hm." Berwald hung up, without feeling a bit of suspision.

**SO YOU'RE GONNA KILL HIM? ! ? !**

"I _would, _if I had some way to do so without being detected."

**SO YOU USE WIRE CUTTERS?**

"Yes. How else will I break the pansy Austrian's piano?"

Well, _this _will be interesting.

* * *

**A/N**

**Well. This was…odd…**

**I decided that Iceland would be a silent little brat when he wanted to be. Therefore, he will now attempt to kill a grand piano. **

**DISCLAIMER! I DON'T OWN IKEA!**

**Or Hetalia, but I figured you knew that by now.**


	13. A Broken Piano and IceCream

"..."

Rodrich stared in horror at the open piano. Elizabeta covered her mouth, hoping or the best while expecting the worse.

"My...piano..."

"R-Rodrich..." the Hungarian walked towards the Austrian, attempting to comfort him. "It isn't so bad. We can find a way to fix it. Don't worry."

"Isn't...so...bad?" Rodrich flung a to the open piano, a look of terror on his face. "Every other string is BROKEN!" He held his head in his hands, shaking his head. "This has/ to be Gilbert's fault."

"Why _me_? !" Upon overhearing the conversation, Gilbert walked in, looking at the piano in confusion. "Oh...that doesn't look good."

"You would know..." the brunette muttered, glaring at the albino.

"Come ON, Roddie! I don't know what in Fritz's name happened to it!" Gilbert shouted, flailing his hands in frustration. "If you're that pissed, take a DNA sample from everyone at-"

"DNA?" Valdis randomly entered the room with a strange look in his eyes. "Are we doing DNA tests? DNA tests show that Gunner is my little brother."

Valdis had a brother complex.

"What are-" Gilbert started, then smacked his forehead, even more frustrated. "Yeah, we know. We know."

"It doesn't look like it can't be fixed," Elizabeta smiled at Rodrich, patting his back.

"But who did it?"

* * *

"...then he went off to figure our who did it." Valdis completed his story to the other Scandinavians, staring out the window. "Oh. Look, there he goes.~" The Norwegian watched in amusement, narrating Rodrich's movements.

"...mm."

"Huh? What's that, Su-san?" Tino asked innocently.

"I th'nk I may kn'w who 't was." Berwald muttered, looking at the cable cutters on his desk.

"Who then?" Mathias poked Berwald, trying to get him to say more. "I bet it was Gil. He's always doin' stupid things."

"Vald's sh'ld be sp'rpris'd 'f any'ne." The Swede muttered again, looking at the Norwegian.

"What do you..." Valdis though for a moment, racking his brain for answers.

Then it hit him.

"He never did like the Austran..." Valdis muttered, saying 'Austran' to annoy the Austrian whenever he saw him. "Sverge? Did he-"

"Took m' wire cutt'rs. Wh't 'lsd w'ld he've done w'th 'em?"

"...GUNNAR!" Valdis ran out of the room, pronouncing his brother's name in the traditional Norwegian way.

Which he only did when he was mad.

* * *

"...then he went off to figure out who did it." Gilbert concluded his story the same way Valdis did, watching Gunner's expression.

"He really care about that piano then, huh?" Gunner replied, seeing uninterested. He already knew the details of the dead piano, what with having been the one to do it and all that. He fidgeted with his ribbon for a moment, unintentionally avoiding eye contact.

"Yep." Gilbert scooted a bit closer to the Icelander, trying to read his expressionless eyes. "So what do _you_ think happened?"

"I don't know..." Gunner said innocently, beginning to wonder if the self-proclaimed Prussian had it all figured out.

"Really?" Gilbert asked, having figured things out from Gunner's shyness.

"Mmhmm." Gunner nodded again, wrapping his arms around the other albino in an attempt to distract him. Gunner nuzzled the crook of his neck, letting out a soft sigh.

"Okay, okay." Gilbert smiled, laying Gunner down on the bed and cuddling with him. He kissed the younger boy lightly, smiling at Gunner's own smile. He pet the other's hair, beginning to wonder how he'd ever fathomed that he could ever do that.

"Oi, Ice? Two things."

"Nn?" Gunner nuzzled in closer to Gilbert, hoping he wouldn't bring the subject back up.

"How'd the piano break?"

Just what he wanted to hear.

"Um...I don't know..." Gunner muttered, clinging closer in another attempt to distract Gilbert. "You said the strings were cut."

"Yeah." Gilbert smiled to himself, continuing to stroke Gunner's hair. _If he answered like that, I'm sure he didn't do it. He isn't acting too weird..._ the German thought to himself, starting to fall asleep. "Two. Can I call you Ice-cream?"

"What?" Gunner pulled away, looking at Gilbert in pure confusion.

"Ice-cream."

"May I ask _why_?"

"It's cute." Gilbert answered simply, grinning ear to ear.

"...no."

"B-BUT WHY?" Gilbert sat up, now looking down at Gunner. "IT'S SO CUTE THOUGH!"

"You would me calling me a food."

"Well..." Gilbert scratched the back. "Antonio calls Lovino 'Lovi-Cake' so I should be able to call you Icecream. And I know Mathias calls your bro 'Norgie-pie' so..."

Lovino and Valdis sneezed.

"But..." Gunner sighed, feeling himself becoming more flustered by the proposed pet name. "F...Fine." He muttered, burying his head into the pillow. Gilbert smiled, wrapping his arms around the Icelandic boy.

"Ice-cream..." Gilbert sighed, nuzzling Gunner, who in turn sighed, suddenly feeling more submissive then before.

And elsewhere, Rodrich was interrogating a poor, innocent man.

* * *

**AN**

**WOW. Just...mein gott. How long have I put this off?**

**Um...I have no explanation for this. None. I'm sorry. ****Very, very sorry.**

**I'll go eat a jellyfish.**

**Well, at least something happened with it. Um...I'll do more with ****this. Promise. With a cookie on top. ****Since I've left this so long I won't even ask for reviews.**

**...never mind. I like reviews. ^_^;**


	14. It and They Should be Capitalized

Gunner sighed to himself, stating nervously at the clock. The Icelander didn't usually have this much trouble getting to sleep, and it was already 2:30. He only had half an hour to fall asleep, or at least pretend he'd fallen asleep. Gunner shifted again, seeing that a minute had passed.

It shouldn't be a problem, but each passing second meant possible hell for Gunner.

"Nngh...Icecream..." Gilbert opened his eyes, having woken up from Gunner's stirring. "What's the matter?" Gunner looked down at Gilbert, then to the clock.

"It's late..." Gunner muttered softly, starting to shake. "It's late and They might come here..."

"Icecream..." Gilbert took the others hand in his own, stroking his hair with his free hand. "It's okay. They can't get you. I'm here, and I keep Them away from you, remember?" Gunner nodded softly, smiling at the petting.

"It's okay?"

"It's okay." The German pulled Gunner down onto the bed, holding him reassuringly. "Nothing's going to happen. Now, if you want to sleep, I suggest laying down." Gilbert said coyly, pulling the other closer.

"Mhmm." The other albino nuzzled closer to him, starting to feel more secure.

"G'night Icecream."

Three o'clock came.

**are you there?**

Gunner sat up in a panic, looking around the room. Everything was black, further hindering his vision. "As if water wasn't enough..." he muttered, trying not to disturb his boyfriend.

**you **_**are**_** there. i was starting to miss you Gunner. why haven't i seen you recently?**

"No..." Gunner whispered in horror, shaking violently. "No, not you. Go away go away go AWAY go-"

**why?**

"I..." The teen shook more, the whispering voice sending more fear through him than that of the screaming ones.

_**why?**_

"I-I don't want you here..." Gunner whispered, covering his ears. "I don't want to hear you or see you or-"

i thought i was your favorite.

"No. You aren't. G-Go away." Gunner curled up as much as he could, not wanting to see of hear It as he'd told the hallucination.

** you don't listen to Them. you should listen to me. we aren't real. really, we aren't. but guess what Gunner? our voices still haunt you in your sleep. i know they do. They chase you while yelling. but why are you afraid of me? i'm just trying to...watch over you.**

"Go away..." Gunner said, not remembering to stay quiet. "Go AWAY. Go away. Go away. I don't want you hear so go away."

"Gunner?" Gilbert sat up, putting his arms around Gunner in an attempt to comfort him. "Gunner, what is it?"

"It."

**how can **_**you**_** help if you can't see me?**

"Make It go away..." Gunner choked out, shaking still. "Make It go away..."

**he can't make me go away.**

"Leave him alone." Gilbert ordered the thing sternly, holding Gunner as close as he could without suffocating the Icelander. "He needs to be left alone now."

**what difference does it make? Gunner. look.**

"I won't..."

"You won't what?"

_**look.**_

"I don't want to!" Gunner clung to Gilbert more, his voice just quieter than a yell.

"Gunner." Gilbert muttered, stroking his hair the way Gunner liked. "Calm down. We'll get rid of it."

_**LOOK.**_

It's voice turned from a strange, light whisper to a disturbing, distorted gargle. Gunner finally snapped, pulling away slightly from Gilbert. He nearly screamed, but remembering that was exactly what It had wanted, he stopped himself, choking slightly.

"Gunner!" Gilbert said, his voice also just short of a scream.

"What did i-"

"Don't say its name." Gunner whispered, muttering something in Icelandic. "Please, you can't. You can't, you can't, you..."

He passed out.

"No..." Gilbert muttered, holding Gunner. "He's out again..." He shook his head, wishing he didn't have to say those words. "What was it..."

**i am It.**

"What are you?" Gilbert growled, holding his boyfriend's limp body in his arms.

**i. am. It.**

"..." Gilbert stayed silent for a moment looking around the room. The center of the wall across from him looked darker than dark, but he assumed it was shadow play.

Until he was scratched.

Gilbert didn't remember the shadow disappearing or him being scratched. Yet there he was, bleeding hand and all. The German lay Gunner down on the blankets, running to the bathroom to find something to put on his hand.

"No wonder it left..." Gilbert muttered, wrapping up his hand. The digital clock read 3:34, only a minute after Gunner's 'dead time' phase. Apparently, more time had passed than he and Gunner were aware of. When Gilbert reentered the room, Gunner was right where he left him, completely unhurt.

"G'night again...Icecream..." Now holding Gunner again, Gilbert passed out as well, leaving the darkened room and the strangely real hallucination to themselves.

Gunner woke up the next day, not really remembering any details of the previous night. Gilbert woke up at the same time, not mentioning the previous night's details. The two simply went about their day, as if nothing had happened.

They always did that.

"Tino?"

Here we go again.

"Y-yes, Gunner?" Tino asked nervously, remembering every little 'episode' he'd had with the Icelandic boy.

"Do you have fish?"

**ARE YOU GONNA EAT ME?**

"Yes..."

**YOU'RE GONNA EAT ME!**

"Do you have salmon?"

**YOU WONT EAT ME?**

"Yes!"

"Can I have some?"

**IF I HAD SOME WOULD I BE A CANABLE?**

"Sure thing! Why?"

**REALLY WHY?**

"I need to feed Lillith."

**WHO?**

"Who?"

"I need to feed the demons."

"WHAT?"

**OH YEAH. THOSE GUYS.**

It was dark that night.

Tino set up a flashlight circle.

…as did Valdis.

* * *

**AN**

**Durp durp. More reality-bending hallucionations. But they're fun to write.**

**Okay, so whatever It is, I think it looks like a ghoul or something.**

**Because those things would be creepy to see at night. Or...at all for**

**that matter. O.o**

**And the demons? Even in modern times, many Icelanders believe the Hekla volcano is a portal to Hell. Therefore Iceland has demons hiding under his bed who live on a stable diet of salmon and licorice.**

**I hate that this always looks longer than the actual story...**


	15. What Has Begun Can't End Well

Gunner sat on in his usual perch in the cherry-blossom tree, watching everyone walk by. Gilbert, to his disliking, was busy with the Bad Touch Trio. He wasn't exactly fond of their antics, but it wasn't like the Icelander could just lock Gilbert in a closet for all eternity. Of course, when everything was going fine in Gunner's life, _something _had to go wrong.

"See? Isn't he kind of cute?" A blonde asked his two friends.

"Y-yeah, he s-sure is, I-I guess...b-but, w-what if he a-already has someone?" One responded, trembling.

"I think Raivas has a point, Eduard." The third responded, and the first two names gave away who they were.

They were called the Baltic Trio.

"Toris, Raivas, why would he already have a lover?" Eduard asked too hopefully. "Not that he isn't _amazing,_ but I think he's still on his own."

"You're like, swooning like, waaay more than I've ever seen, I mean, really? That's like, totally creepy. Especially the staking." Felix appeared out of thin air as he usually did, with little, invisible pink hearts filling the air around him. "And I think he's already taken, so like, you totally need to like, calm your ponies and stuff."

"Felix, the expression is-"

"Oh my god Liet!" Felix pouted. "If I don't make new phrases, then they'll like, never be made! Seriously..."

"Um..." Raivas saw exactly what he didn't want to see. He went to warn the others, but the poor Latvian found himself alone.

"Raivas!~ I found you, да?"

"Um, uh, H-H-H-HI IVAN! I-IT'S VERY NICE TO SEE YOU, SIR!"

"Oh no..." Toris muttered as Ivan closed in on Raivas.

"Totally _not_ cool, commie."

"I think he's going to be okay." Eduard mumbled. "See? Now that he fainted, Ivan wouldn't hurt him...r-right?"

"There's Matthew as well." Toris added. "I think Ivan will keep his sanity this time around..." An awkward silence enveloped the three.

"OKAY! So like, anyway. What I think you should do is like, very _smoothly_, ask him like, what he thinks is totally cool in a guy. Then you see if you fit that, 'cause like, honey, you don't, you're out. Oh Liet? Who are we talking about?" Toris shook his head, shrugged, then nudged the Estonian sitting to his left.

"Gunner."

"...okay like...who?"

"Gunner." Eduard repeated. "He's one of the newer students here?

White hair, purple eyes...he has a pet bird?"

"...you mean like, Valdis's brother?" Felix asked, having to cover his mouth with both hands to stifle a laugh. "Oh my _GAWD_, Eduard! Soooo out of your league, I mean like, really!"

"Well, it could happen." Eduard replied with determination. "Just wait."

"Okay, honey, but I'm like, only giving this like, a week or so." At that, Eduard left, leaving a Pole and a Lithuanian in a bush. At the mention of the two alone in a bush, a Hungarian ran for her camera.

"So...did you mean how long the relationship would last, or how long Eduard could hold out?" Felix smiled his sly, schoolgirl 'I totally got this' smile.

"I meant like, how long he could go before getting a glove-smack."

* * *

Fancis made 'the signal' to Antonio, both of which were still attempting to expose Gilbert's secret relationship.

"So are we getting beer tonight or what?" Gilbert asked, putting his arm around the Spaniard, who's other arm was around the Frenchman.

"Yep! Oh, and Lovi-Cake has been being just the cutest lately! Sure, he's been being a bit _fussy_ and _acting_ like he doesn't care, but _I_ know how he _really_ feels!~" Francis smiled at the brunette's performance. He knew as well as anyone that Gunner shared some of the same character traits as Lovino. They again planned, this time using Antonio's usual ranting to bring out a reaction to jump at.

They practiced the emphasis for an hour.

"Oh, _oui_. Dear Joan has been being quite sweet as well! She's even made me some sweets!" Francis swooned, adding in the sweets due to Gunner's love of licorice.

"God, you two. Acting all lovey-dovey and sappy. Next I guess you're going to go running off without me! Kesesesese!" Gilbert smiled, and for once didn't feel bitter about his friends' rambling. The plotters exchanged glances, suddenly realizing they just made the best opportunity to jump on they could have.

"_Oui_, maybe. I'm glad you aren't upset like you usually are."

"_Si_. Find something else to preoccupy you when we're out?"

"_Ja_. I'm all good."

"And what could that be, _mon cher? _A...oh, I don't know, an..._amant?_" Francis pinned Gilbert to the side of the building with his shear molestation grip, preventing Gilbert from even attempting to squirm away.

"Ah, um, a friend." The albino answered, suddenly realizing why his two friends were suddenly so obsessed with their lovers. His mind raced as he squirmed, trying to come up with a makeshift excuse.

"A friend? _Un con_ _beneficios?_"

"Wait, what?" Gilbert looked at Antonio, denying to himself what he might have said in Spanish.

"_Un amigo con beneficios?_ A friend...with benefits?/"

"Uh, n-no, just a friend!" Gilbert yelled, still trying to get out of Francis's grip. "What are-"

"And who might this 'friend' be?" Francis asked in almost a menacing tone of voice.

"J-just-"

"OI! _Elrösung ihm flugs!"_

"L-Ludwig? !"

"_Danke Gott..."_

Antonio and Francis didn't retreat.

They advanced in the other direction.

* * *

"Hey, Eduard!" Tino shouted, running towards his cousin in a slight panic.

"Tino! What's the matter?"

"Raivas said Ivan needs to see you...as in this very moment."

"Um, t-tell him I'm busy."

"Raivas already said you were free."

"..."

"Eduard?"

"..."

"Oh, no, Eduard don't-"

**"LATVIAAAAAAAAAAAA!"**

* * *

**A/N**

**Hi thar!~**

**It's been _way_ too long, hasn't it? I didn't really mean to go all AWOL on you people there. However, you know how when you want a plot/chapter bunny, it doesn't come, and when you least expect it, it attacks you? Yeah. That was me. For much too long.**

**Also, I do ship FrancexJoan of Arc, but it's one of hose pairings that you keep on the side because it's sweet. It's a "decoration pair" as I call them. However, I rabidly ship Russia/Canada. Very, very, very rabidly. Hence the phrase, **"There's Matthew as well."

**So, why, of everyone I could pick, was it Estonia? Well, I suppose Hong Kong could have worked, but I couldn't make everything else work. You see, Estonia wanted to be a Scandinavian nation in this thing called 'real life.' I'm not very acquainted with it, but I figured it could work. Iceland is a Nordic, Estonia wants to _be_ a Nordic, Sweden hates Estonia, Norway is Sweden's friend and Iceland's brother, and Gilbert is already Iceland's boyfriend.**

**As the title suggests, nothing good can happen next.**

**I'll go to translations. If the Internet lied to me and something isn't right, I'd like to know please!~**

**Si, Oui, Ja; all mean yes, Spanish, French, German**

**Mon cher; My dear, French**

**Amant; lover, French**

**Un con beneficios?; one with benefits?, Spanish**

**Un amigo con beneficios?; a friend with benefits?, Spanish (Spain translates it already, but just in case.)**

**Elrösung ihm flugs!; Release him at once!, German**

**Danke Gott...; Thank God..., German**

**Tino is Eduard's cousin. Don't deny me this.**


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